Please don't say this update emo

Well, since school started last week. Never had one day I can actually open up my heart to study and chill with my gang mates. Well, Im absolutely surprised about how many selfish peoples in my class. Or should I use a better word, self-centered? Im actually favored my class last year but as time goes, mask unfolds, true personality unveiled. Peoples are selfish. All they did is think about themselves, never really cared for others.

And the thing I most stunned, is that I don't even consider using the words gang mates anymore. There are no gang mates, no true friends in my life. I thought gang mates should be understanding each other, however, Im wrong, wrong in a deep shape. They are just the same kind, the same thing. We still can be friends, but true friends? Maybe, but near impossible. Conclusion is made, friends are made to be used. I cant really describe how stupid I am. Begging and asking permission for everyone and every plan that I can thought of. All I get is shits. No one even considered about my feelings. They got their own stuffs, they happy, they ditch, and they leave all the shit to the rest. If Im not considerate enough, I can just proceed it by force or violence, why shouldn't I?

Someone asked me, where is the ChengZhi I used to know, singing and staying happy all the time? Well, maybe the answer is dead, or maybe somewhere laid dormant. Im quite stunned when I heard this question. It perfectly reflects how Im doing all these times. Too many burden and too many things to shoulder alone. I need someone to help me, someone that can revive the old me. I changed and I don't want to explain much, that's it. It's not like I didn't put effort on my emotions. I did try. I made a promise, that I will stay happy throughout today but I failed, defeated by my own feelings, miserably.

By the way, some song to share with you all